Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
