thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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