but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
