so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize