I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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