She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
