u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
