Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
