we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize