even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
