i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just cropdusted the office
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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