i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
