Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
