I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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