hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
