Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
