you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
