can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
