oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
