so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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