Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
