i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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