So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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