They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize