did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
