i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
