Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
