Non-Jews are for practice
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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