he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
