lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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