Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
