i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
