I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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