Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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