I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
oh god the rape fog is back!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize