Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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