Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
