I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
