NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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