Just cropdusted the office
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
