Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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