your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
