we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
