He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
