I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
