Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
