There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
