he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
