I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
