Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
