Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
