she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
