All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
