I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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