I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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