I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
