I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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