No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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