how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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