wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Fuck appropriateness.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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