So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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