Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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