planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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