I think I won the penis lottery.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
