Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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