I wish I only lived at night.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
