I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I would ride that face into the sunset
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
