I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
