TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
